Secure as an Ex-KGB Agent

I was greeted by a rather tall man moments after knocking.

He had a relaxed voice, but was rather anxious to wisk me away to be certain that I did not have any radioactive materials in my possession.



Here my host (who had yet to introduce himself), took the time to read the radio-activity upon me with what is known as a Geiger counter. If asked, I could have given him a simple answer ... I don't carry radios, and typically when the time comes, should I have a radio, it would be far from active as I am horrible at replacing batteries.

It took a few waves of the want before he was satisfied with the results.

He introduced himself as NineInchNachos, a friend of Mr. Anderson. Aside from being office assistant, lacky, gopher and other assorted tasks assigned to him at the will and bidding of Mr. Anderson, NineInchNachos, serves as the official tour guide of the Holistic ForgeWorks and secret lair compound. He assured me that Mr. Anderson would be available for a few moments towards the end of my visit.

I hope that Mr. Anderson is up for a few questions, as I have prepared some to interview him ... I am throughly impressed with his security measures and protection thus far.



NineInchNachos helped me don the gear to approach the Forge. I can hardly imagine Surtr guarding Muspellheim with his flaming sword with such equipment. By Odin's beard, though, I suspect that he would not be laughing, but more eagerly awaiting the end of time so he might slew the gods with his mighty flaming sword.

My feet are resting upon an anvil used Mr. Anderson to shape metals. You might note that there are fresh brass clips and a new maple stump that the anvil is secured to. It brings it up to a height for NineInchNachos to do Mr. Anderson's work.

I found that last bit to be confusing, but NineInchNachos told me that Mr. Anderson, due to an unfortunate mistake with an art project, is stuck to sketching out designs on large sheets of butcher paper and presenting them to NineInchNachos so NineInchNachos can translate the two-dimensional drawing into a three-dimensional object in the forge.



Because we were indoors, we did not fire up the forge. But I kept my distance, as I did not know if it started automatically, like so many of Mr. Andersons -omatic things do.

This is the heart and soul of the forge works. NineInchNachos informed me that to destroy this would be to destroy his master, and the very existence of many, many projects around town. Including the weekly Tacomic Bible Fellowship.

I hardly believe I would want to be the one to destroy an item of reverence and worship as this.

I thanked NineInchNachos for his hospitality, and requested to finally meet Mr. Anderson. NineInchNachos examined his watch, it appeared that he spoke INTO it, asking "are you ready sir?" After this question, he put is right finger index finger to his right ear ... nodded and motioned for me to follow him further into the compound.

I gathered my gifts for Mr. Anderson and followed.

Forging my way to the Forgeworks (tm)

Inspired by the artistic side of his ventures, I took a moment to request a visit to the Holistic Forge Works International World Headquarters and Secret Lair ®.

In a mysteriously deep voice, he accepted my request.

I honestly didn't know there was a secret lair, I just thought it was a simple Forge Works operation. But, given the levels of security at the compound, it certainly was a secret location.



Much to my surprise, he had enlisted a team on North American Gnomes to secure the perimeter. I had tried to disguise myself as a common shrub by hiding in one. But that did not work at all. Gnomes can sense other gnomes, if they are prepared. Because I wasn't expecting such tight security, I was caught off guard, and was taken to the ground rather quickly.



They had jumped from the plastic boxflag declaring this location the center of the Holistic Forge Works Empire®. Now, I survived the near take over of Norway by external forces back in the 20th century, actually, we Gnomes realize that things come to pass, but in this case we were happy that the strong will of the Norwegian people prevailed.

In this case, I was rather shaken and, though it is not normal, rather scared. I explained to the North American Gnome on my chest that I meant no harm to the Empire® (map), and that I had a gift for the head of the Empire®.



Being a gracious host and a gracious guest is a key factor in all Gnome cultures, and when they learned of my guest-based hospitality, we had the opportunity for a formal conversation. Though I am unable to relate to you their names, given the secrecy of the location.

We shared tales of Odin, and how he would disguise himself as a human to find those hospitable during the cold winter nights in Norway ... assuring that people would remember they are all connected in some fashion.



The North American Gnomes went back to their sentry station, as I knocked and waited to meet the head of this secret home of the flying turtle.